American Zen teacher Joko Beck in Nothing Special:

Practice isn’t simply being integrated or being healthy or being a good person, though all of these things are part of practice. Practice is about the wonder. If you want to check your own practice, the next time something comes up in your life that you can’t stand, ask yourself, “where’s the wonder here?” That’s what increases as we practice. We gain the ability to see the wonder of life no matter what it is and regardless of whether we like it or don’t like it. For example when we approach a relationship in this way, we can say, “I love you for what you are and I love you for what you are not.” Instead of faultfinding, ” You talk too much. You never talk. You leave your clothes everywhere. You never clean off the kitchen counter. You pick on me all the time”—when you say, “I love you for what you are and I love you for what you are not” the wonder shines through.