Seth Freeman, interviewed by Marty Nemko:
Especially these days, such conversations can be stressful. It may be helpful to agree to use the Recap, Recap technique. I’ll explain with an example of how I might introduce the “negotiation:”
I’d like to talk politics but to make it safe for both of us, should we try this? You talk for around 30 seconds–so it doesn’t get too complicated to remember. Then I’ll try to repeat the gist of what you said. If I got it right, you let me know. If I didn’t, you correct me. And then we’ll reverse roles. Do you want to try it, say, for 10 minutes and then we can reassess? Maybe after our conversation, we’ll go get ice cream.
It can also help to ask follow-up questions, not to nail the person but to better understand their statement’s underpinnings.